She Said, A Hundred Times

I remember an older commercial for a high-speed telecommunications company shilling their latest and greatest download speed ("Faster than ever before! Until next month when we are even faster!") where the bored looking husband was at his desk in the den of his house surfing the net. All of a sudden his screen turned a bright blue with the message "You have officially hit the end of the Internet. You have seen all there is to be seen. You can now resume your normal life". He turned and looked at his wife across the room who was blissfully unaware of all this, realizing he wasn't busted, he sheepishly turned off the computer and rejoined his family.

I always thought that was pretty funny (and a little sad, considering the amount of time I appear to be spending on this thing lately).

That being said, I'm not really in the habit of posting re-runs, but I was up late last night in a round of Dave Matthews + red wine induced goodness, and stumbled over this (again). I might have stuck this up somewhere on here like, 2 years ago, but just for shits & giggles, wanted to revisit one more time.

While I endeavor to write more memoirs from the road, and basically avoid anything that resembles the daily detritus of my life - I watched this again for the first time in a long time, and am still amazed at what 5 extremely talented guys can do with a B-D-F#-G chord progression. Tender & scary & savage all within the same 12 minutes. I was thinking about the old days, and about my old musician friends who would totally have gotten, and loved this. I hope you do too.

Turn up your speakers and rock out, my Brothers & Sisters.

To Sleep, Perchance To Dream

Have you ever had one of those all too vivid dreams where you wake up in the middle of the night, not knowing if it was real or not? I'm sure you have. We all have. Last night though, I squeezed out a doozy.

Around 3:30 AM this morning, I dreamt about my own death.

In my dream, I died at a very young 52, (Still had all my hair though, and could pull off 44 in poor, yet advantageous lighting), and I saw and heard the faces and voices of my friends saying such things like "I knew this was going to happen - that's why he never had children or got married etc." Another friend of mine said "That's why he never bought a house". Their faces were all looming over me full of sadness, not that I had gone and joined the "Choir Invisible" but that they were going to miss me, and were disappointed at the turn my life took. "He had so much potential" another one said. Then, I actually felt myself slipping away into the dark, grey void. I was scared for a second, but then I wasn't. The fear turned into kind of a regret, and in those lingering seconds caught between this world and the next - I woke up with a start, and stayed awake for the duration.

Around 5:00 AM or so, I was still fully awake, and was able to deal with that it was just a dream, and tried to get back to sleep - but that finicky mistress was nowhere to be found. Usually I can read myself to sleep in about 4 pages or less, but I suppose understandingly, no book was going to crack my adrenaline-charged veneer of 14 hours ago. I'm neither a head case nor a nutbar. (A Ne'er do well, or a malcontent maybe). I have though, been scratching my head all day wondering where the hell that came from, and why it was so damned real.

Now having said all that, who wants some cake?

So in closing? I'm fine. We're all good, and continuing on at warp factor 9.

Here's the new Matthew Good song that I totally dig. (It's from the new record "Hospital Music" that of course was inspired by him having a prolonged stay in said hospital due to various bi-polar issues, substance abuse issues, the breakdown of his marriage etc., you know - the usual happy stuff). It's a great song though. He's also another good Canadian kid.

Oh and to my friends who were vulturing over me? If that's the best you could come up with regarding my pining for the fjords / pushing up the daisies? Fuck you. I know who you are, even if you don't.

Born Loser.

Music To Clean Your House To

Another lazy Sunday, another day gone by.

I went to bed early last night, and got 10 hours of glorious, salacious sleep. That is a rarity these days. I had to go to the office twice if you can believe it, and when I got back from trip #2, got all domestic and cleaned the place to within an inch of its sordid life.

So now, it is 5:30 or so, the sun is going down (as opposed to a month ago where we'd be fumbling around in the darkness before 4:30 (well together ain't so bad, but being solo? Not so much).

A word to the wise for all you single people out there? Get a crock-pot. I've had my Grandmother's since 1983 or something, and yes it's an old school ride (as a friend so recently told me) but it certainly has it going on. Today's experiment is spaghetti-sauce. I read a couple of recipes, discarded their good advice, and decided to wing it regarding ingredients, cooking time, and basic hygiene. So if it works out - some of which will be scheduled for dinner with a glass of wine and a fresh baguette, and the remainder shall be tupperwared, labeled, and frozen for future evenings when I feel masochistic & suicidal.

Following is a brief cross section of what to listen to while cleaning, and fucking up spaghetti sauce (All good Canadian Kids, 'Natch). Lastly, I was talking to a friend of mine about an old awesome movie, and it made me feel good; Sort of invincible.

While We're On The Subject

Can we change the subject now?
(Modest Mouse, Missed the boat, We Were Dead Before The Ship Even Sank, Rel. 2007)

I was out to dinner with some good friends tonight: Steve! who must be named here, His wife and my old pal Bonnie (who I may or may not have slept with), my friend Gino, and his lovely [redacted] [redacted], who must not be named here.

It was "The dinner with friends who don't have children night", and it was another smashing success. We convened at this place way the hell out in the Steveston Quay during rush hour (nice planning, Bon), talked about jobs, careers, trips to Latin America, Europe & Asia. So they talked and I listened and thought a fair bit about what's happening in my life, and what isn't. I then ate a fair bit of deep fried cheese. Mmmm cheese.

It's late on a Friday night, and I'm not really sleepy. More like staring at the wall, listening to something tasty, and doing some thinking. I think your friends are the ones who hold up mirrors to you.

You're welcome to press your ear to my door. If you want.

My Heart Is Yours, And Yours Alone

Love Is In The Air

Yes, I'm an incurable romantic, and would like to send this out to you; all the lovers in the world.

The below image completely and perfectly encapsulates my feelings towards each and everyone of you who are in love, and are running in slow motion, with hands clasped, through sunlit and soft focussed flower-laden fields.

Achtung, Baby

One last note from Berlin.

Another early morning, but this time for a purpose - I'm leaving for Tegel Airport in about 20 minutes. So in about 15 or so hours from now, I should be walking through the door of my empty apartment in Vancouver.

Last night, I took a client out for some good German beer, schnitzel, sausages, sauerkraut, and oddly enough, toothpaste tubes full of mayonnaise in Potsdamer Place right where the wall came down, about 300 yards down the road from the Brandenburg Gate, and about 600 yards from Hitler's bunker and Checkpoint Charlie. If you've never been to Berlin - I highly recommend it.

Hopefully I'll arrive back home safe & sound - and that my plants will still be alive. Granted, it's not much, but at least it's something. (I'm also assuming that having a hot babe pick me up at the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat is too much to ask).

However, one can only remain cautiously optimistic.

I Love Berlin In The Morning

Guten Tag!

"Berlin is the capital city and one of sixteen states of the Federal Republic of Germany. With a population of 3.4 million in its city limits, Berlin is the country's largest city.^[3] It is the second most populous city and the ninth most populous urban area in the European Union.^[4] Located in northeastern Germany, it is the center of the Berlin-Brandenburg metropolitan area, comprising 5 million people from over 180 nations.^[2]"

(Source Wikipedia.org)

Well, actually, I don't. Love is too strong of a word , but I'm certainly in deep, hormonal like. It's 8:30, and I've been awake since 6:00AM. The sky has gone from purple to a beautiful dawn, the birds are chirping, my hotel is in the center of the city, my balcony door is open, and I'm enjoying a fantastic german coffee while listening to nothing but church bells tolling. No traffic noise, no pedestrians at all. Just birds and calls to worship.

As sexy sounding as business travel is, the sad truth is that it isn't. (That made no sense). Flying around the world, dealing with jet lag, loneliness, restaurant food, a strange bed, and the obvious stress and pressure of the demands of the job etc., well it gets real old, real fast. When traveling, I lead a very transient life style. Come to think of it, I live a transient lifestyle at home too. I have to give that some serious thought.

Speaking of home, I'm leaving for the airport in about 21 hours from now - and even though my life back there has less than required daily intake of fulfillment, I'm pretty happy to get back and continue muddling through it.

Auf wiedersehen.

All Work And No Play

This is the creepiest elevator in Berlin. (So far, anyway).

As previously mentioned, on the weekend I was up very late at home on Saturday working, and Sunday morning I caught the plane to Toronto. Nice flight. Very civilized, except that my prized window seat on Mr. Airbus got negated to a middle seat as our original plane broke down in Australia. We were all switched to a much smaller ride, and I won the seating lottery. There are very few other instances which makes me want to go postal - and getting the middle seat in a 5 hour flight is one of them. On one side; there was a nice polite girl about my age. We didn't small talk - just said hello and ignored each other for the duration. Perfect. On my immediate left, was a VERY tall guy in his 50's, who while declining the headphones and wanting to read the Vancouver Sun the whole way (which really, takes like, all of 20 minutes - 40 if you read the classifieds, and are functionally retarded) was not only a dedicated nose picker - he was the president! This guy was mining for gold every 5 minutes. (A personal note: I personally don't really care what you do with your own nasal area, but blatantly having your pinky buried up the knuckle? All the time? For 5 hours? With someone sitting in your immediate space? That's just plain wrong).

Getting past that, I had dinner with a friend on Saturday, then went out to Brian's place on Sunday. Maybe I'm a pussy, but the mere 3 hour time difference is a killer. For example: Monday morning, I've got to be in the car at the latest, 7:30 AM, to be in Toronto proper by 9:00 AM. (they had a blizzard the day before I arrived). What this means is that even going to bed at midnight on Sunday - my body clock is telling me it is only 9:00 PM back on the west coast. So you of course will see the hilarity that ensued as that 2:30 AM local time, I had been lying wide awake, staring at the wall, and even worse, mentally calculating & re-calculating the dwindling possible hours of sleep I might get as I had to be up at 6:00 AM.

Regardless, I was up at 6:00 AM, and hit the road around 7:30. Brian's last words to me were "Leave as early as you can - you can never trust the Don Valley Parkway". And he was right. I got stuck on the DVP for 1.5 hours, all within about 6 kms of my destination (which was my first, and most important meeting of the Toronto leg). I wound up being an hour late because a school bus stalled at the 404 & 401 intersection, on Monday morning, the first work day after the weekend blizzard. In highest volume freeway in the largest metropolis in Canada. I made all the rest of my meetings yesterday, then bombed out to the airport, dropped off the rental car, changed clothes in the bathroom, checked in for the flight, and settled in for the long overseas jaunt rom Toronto to Berlin via Frankfurt.

I slept all of about 2 hours for both flights. I landed in Berlin around 3:30 PM local time, and checked in to a completely empty hotel. I mean, I am the ONLY guest staying here. All the lights are off in the hallways, the dining room is empty, and other than the desk clerk, I am the only other living being in the entire place. I can look down the dark hallway, and there is only a tiny beam of light beaming through the peep hole of my door. Everything else is like, well, a certain Kubrick Movie.

I was exhausted when I arrived. I decided against a nap as even though I was sort of catatonic, but I figured that if I stayed up long enough, I could get to bed at a normal hour, sleep through the night, and be done with the lion's share of jet-lag. It was a struggle for a while, but a friend of mine called, and we met for an early dinner, and I came back to the spooky hotel with visions of sugar-plums and prancing sheep in my head. (That might have sounded odd).

So now? It is 2:16 AM in Berlin. 8:16 PM in Toronto, and 5:16 PM in Vancouver. I'm so wired that I've raided my mini-bar in hopes of some temporary sleep inducement. Sadly, they provided two whole bottles of hearty German beer, and they are long gone, I'm wide awake, and I really think that sleep-wise? I'm going to be about as effective as I have been the past month at my real job. (Which is to say - not very fucking much).

I had to go downstairs to get another couple of bottles from the desk clerk (who in the usual German fashion, is wearing a tight black vest, tight black pants, and a black open necked tuxedo shirt with black sparklies running down each sleeve), and he told me that yes, the hotel other than me was completely empty - but they are booked to capacity tomorrow. I can only wonder what kind of people are going to be booking this place to capacity on a Tuesday night. (I'm also debating whether or not to barricade the door with whatever large items of furniture I might have at hand - while not negating my security deposit).

The remainder of the evening? Drink the hearty German beer. Smoke some duty free cigarettes. Move on to the mini-bar if need be in search of the ever elusive, wispy sprite called sleep, hopefully declare an end to major combat operations, and come out slugging tomorrow. Again.

I Better Be Home Soon

Tell me about it.

I'm off to Toronto tomorrow, and Berlin via Frankfurt on the Monday night red-eye. I've been running around all day trying to get things done. I actually left work at 3:00 Pm in fact, with grand hopes of getting everything done before, well, now I suppose, but my job is one cruel, bitchy evil mistress, it's 1:15 AM already, and she wants even more.

Here's my day: Have great revelation, call boss to meet me for breakfast ror my great idea. I oversleep and wake up 15 minutes before our appointment. No shower, no coffee, just jump in the car (complete with bed-head of course) and roar across town in morning rush hour. He decided to be 45 minutes late after all of that. Interestingly enough, my great idea about how great I was - blew up in my face about 5 hours ago. Nice. So I worked most of the day, Picked up dry cleaning. Packed. Hit Currency exchange, Bought food & Euros/ ate food , put Euros in wallet. Cleaned apartment (as you can't home to a home in disarray after being gone for 13 days), discovered bad software problem on my major multi-media presentation at 11:00 PM. Installed / uninstalled software and worked on it until 12:30, then take some precious time to write here. Good times. All you married guys out there? Eat it and smile, Chachi!

I have a cab coming in about 4.5 hours to take me to YVR, (Vancouver) which in turn should deposit me in Toronto (YYZ - Mmmmm Rushaliscious), spend about 40 hours in TO, then back to the airport for my flight to Berlin (TXL), via Frankfurt (FRA). I love their airport codes - those nutty Germans are just so damned efficient. Berlin Tegel Airport? Well - lets just gift it the acronym TXL. Toronto? Ah - hell. Just call it YYZ and be done with it! Don't even get me started how Edmonton can be YEG.

Thing is, is that I just want to flash forward 12 days from now where I can sleep in my own bed again.

So barring any health, hip, terrorist, or in any (wink-wink, nudge-nudge) mechanical malfunctions with my Airbus A320 (which, while over beers last week, my travel agent cautioned me about flying airbus in lieu of Boeing As the travel agency is wise to the fact that Airbus "incidents" FAR surpass Boeing "incidents" - but the sunuvabitch booked me on an airbus anyway...), plus there is the blizzard of the year hammering Toronto right now? It looks like everything is right on track.

So provided I get there & back again? There might be some juicy stuff to read about from the 2008 Berlin Film Festival / EFM (European Film Market) / Quarterly expensive film festival wank-fest at some point down the road.

Let's dream that its over. Soon.